Recently, I went through a break up. What a ride! In grieving events, I tend to reach out for friends and family. Like a cliche, problems show up in herds. I was laid-off from my job recently, which somehow coincided with the breakup of a romantic relationship. I felt bitter and angry.
Writing an angry letter enabled me to sleep on a particularly hard night. I have been writing every time I feel down or want to figure what I am feeling. It is a very useful tool since words force me to be clear. I reached out to available friends. Most share their experiences and perspective. It helps me a lot to see a different point of view. Acknowledging my feelings and humor help me deal with stuff much better.
One of my friends Carol, who is a great friend, older and with much life experience, asked me to look up 'Five Stages of Grief' by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. According to the model, people go through five stages of grief in no particular order:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
For me, I went through the following sequence:
Denial --> Anger --> Bargaining--> Acceptance.
I still feel Anger, Bargaining and Acceptance which come in gusts like free flowing wind. If Depression is the feeling of longing and fear of uncertainty, I feel depression. But it does not last long with me, since my Ego and life experience kicks in. Perhaps all those years dealing with loneliness in boarding school hold me in good stead.
I am trying to accept the circumstances and people involved. I think about my Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's teachings. 'Accept people and situations as they are', one of his teachings, I remind myself.
Writing an angry letter enabled me to sleep on a particularly hard night. I have been writing every time I feel down or want to figure what I am feeling. It is a very useful tool since words force me to be clear. I reached out to available friends. Most share their experiences and perspective. It helps me a lot to see a different point of view. Acknowledging my feelings and humor help me deal with stuff much better.
One of my friends Carol, who is a great friend, older and with much life experience, asked me to look up 'Five Stages of Grief' by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross. According to the model, people go through five stages of grief in no particular order:
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
For me, I went through the following sequence:
Denial --> Anger --> Bargaining--> Acceptance.
I still feel Anger, Bargaining and Acceptance which come in gusts like free flowing wind. If Depression is the feeling of longing and fear of uncertainty, I feel depression. But it does not last long with me, since my Ego and life experience kicks in. Perhaps all those years dealing with loneliness in boarding school hold me in good stead.
I am trying to accept the circumstances and people involved. I think about my Guru Sri Sri Ravi Shankar's teachings. 'Accept people and situations as they are', one of his teachings, I remind myself.
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